Can pretending to be asleep help children feel closer to their parents? An analy
Many parents encounter this issue: their children are reluctant to communicate with them in certain situations and sometimes even show resistance to their parents' care. To alleviate this predicament, parents often adopt various methods to encourage their children to open up, one of which is the technique of "playing dead to allow the child to approach from behind." It sounds a bit unconventional, but can this method truly be effective? Today, we will discuss why this behavior of "playing dead" might produce unexpected results in parent-child communication.
The Psychological Principle of Playing Dead

The so-called "playing dead" does not mean that parents should fall into a deep sleep, but rather adopt a relatively relaxed and laid-back posture during interactions with their children. Many children, when faced with their parents' active concern, may react with annoyance, feeling that their parents are too involved in their lives, leading to feelings of resistance. By appropriately "playing dead," parents can appear not to intrude on their children’s worlds, which can help the children relax and gradually feel more comfortable.
The Way to Let Children Approach from Behind
Here, "letting the children approach from behind" is not a literal action but rather a psychological understanding. In the parents' seemingly sleepy state, children can come to their parents on their own, gradually seeking their care and support. This method is similar to "passive guidance," allowing children to feel less pressure and creating implicit interactions between the parents and children.
How Effective Is This Method?
Many parents have found that through this method, children unconsciously develop a closer bond with their parents. Without the pressure of direct interaction, children can express their emotions more naturally or seek their parents’ support more proactively when they need help. This approach can be particularly effective during a child's rebellious phase, as it may allow children to feel their parents’ warmth and understanding, thus reducing emotional distance.
Is This Method Applicable to All Families?
This method is not suitable for every family. If there is already a strong built-in trust and understanding in the parent-child relationship, then this approach may seem unnecessary. For families with smooth communication and a close relationship, there may not be a need for overly tactical interactions. However, for families where the relationship is more strained or where communication with the child is difficult, the "playing dead" approach may yield surprising results.
How to Determine Its Effectiveness?
The best way to gauge the effectiveness of this method is by observing the child’s reactions. If the child gradually becomes more willing to express themselves in front of their parents or starts approaching their parents while they are playing dead, this indicates that the method is working. If the child remains indifferent to this behavior, parents may need to explore different ways to connect with their child. The key lies in adjusting the approach based on the child's personality and the family atmosphere.
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